


The Story of What Happened to House's Tooth

by pirateenthusiast



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Crack, Foot Fetish, Gen, M/M, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:34:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pirateenthusiast/pseuds/pirateenthusiast
Summary: House sux toes :P
Relationships: Greg House/James Wilson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	The Story of What Happened to House's Tooth

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this seriously this is not who I am

"Head."  
"Brain."  
"CT?''  
"No. MRI?"   
The team threw guesses in the air as they deciphered Houses pantomimes. Which he had been doing all morning. It wasn't that bad at first but now it was just annoying, and possibly endangering to the patient. 

"Why do you think House isn't talking?" Asked Kutner as he, Taub, and 13 made their way to give the patient an MRI.  
"It's just another one of his games. Don't look into it. That's exactly what he wants." Taub muttered.   
Usually 13 felt inclined to agree with the statement 'House is just messing with us' but she wasn't sure this time. "I don't know. It doesn't seem like a game to me."   
"Oh right, I forgot we've passed the point where pretending to be a mime is completely serious business." Taub Said, slightly exasperated that he seemed to be the only fellow that could see through Houses bullshit. 

They came back from the MRI to see House scribbling something on the whiteboard.  
"Leaving early. Dentist appointment." Kutner read aloud over houses shoulder.   
Taub rolled his eyes.   
Kutner bid House farewell.   
13 squinted for a moment and then began to smirk as she realized. "Wait is something wrong with your teeth? Is that why you're not talking?"   
"Ding ding ding!" House flashed a not so toothy grin. "Oops." He covered his mouth again with mock seriousness.  
"Oh. My God. What happened? Why are you missing a tooth." Taub asked.  
House shrugged and zipped out of the office before he could be questioned further.   
The team looked at each other. "What do you think happened?" Kutner asked.   
"I don't know and don't care. What I do care about is the fact that the MRI came up with nothing, and we are no closer on a diagnosis for our patient." He gestured to the MRI to suggest that they should start DDXing.   
"Knowing House, he probably got punched after belittling a patient." Thirteen said.

Little did they know what had actually happened last evening in 221B.

He saw Wilson sitting on the couch, shoe less, his legs propped up on the table. Stealthily, House creeped up, crouched like a cartoon burglar. Wilson's feet glistened like treasure. House swooped in for the prize, snatching Wilson's toes in his mouth like a hawk. Gotcha.   
Wilson yelped in surprise. "Houuuuse. My pedicure isn't for another three days! You know how I feel about getting my dirty little piggies sucked."  
House did know. He did not care. He continued to gnaw. It looked like a starving stray dog ferociously chewing a bone for the first time in months.  
"I'm warning you House get my toes out of your mouth right now. I'm serious."   
But poor Gregory House did not heed the warning. An instant later Wilson quickly shot his foot upward.   
A searing pain shot through Houses head. "SHIT" he dropped the foot and brought he hands to his mouth. Blood. "Wilson you bastard you knocked out my tooth."  
"Well that's what you get for putting your mouth all over my feet." Wilson scowled. "Will you ever learn?" 

The answer was no.


End file.
